things i need to hear myself say
things i normally write about: 5 minutes
what do i want to understand or grasp?: 9 minutes
i want to learn how to tell a whole story. it doesn't need a beginning middle end; those don't make sense to me. it's never the beginning, what we think: it all started long before we thought to notice or name. and endings are happening well before we let them, before we will call it the end or say goodbye or see the next steps to the next paths.
i think i write the details of a story. the underbelly underbrush memory of a story. i want to write a thing that carries us from one to the next, and it's okay if it goes back again. i want the movement. i go in between worlds, my writing is in the liminal spaces, so there is movement there. maybe what i want is an arc. a trajectory.
my characters are nature, are girls searching for family. my characters make small circles and know their worlds to the detail, but they make small circles. i want flight and falling and speeding through the sky bullet in a hurricane. also i want slow crawl, glacial, sleepwalking to the streetlight; this is what i have. i don't think i want a new way, or a different way. i want more of it. i want to write and write and write until the pieces fit together with some sense of familiarity. it doesn't need to be comfortable, just yes.
(things i need to hear myself say: sharon c.l.)
- trees
- water
- critters
- horizons
- skies
- seasons
- salt
- skin
- longing
- tangles
- little girl
- silence
- shooting stars
- underwater
- alone
- aurora borealis
- porches
- no family
- wind
- stones
- magic
- love
- flying things
- invisible things
- secrets
- windows
- open heart
- open hand
- listen
- remember
- the house
- the field
- the path
- the river
- the tides
- returning
- releasing
- telling
- love
- hope
- roots
- bones
- making it up
- floorboards
- being old, being young
- hands
- desire
- rain snow electricity
- storms
- breathing
- knowing
- trusting
- forgetting, remembering
- arc of spine, arc of story
- yes
what do i want to understand or grasp?: 9 minutes
i want to learn how to tell a whole story. it doesn't need a beginning middle end; those don't make sense to me. it's never the beginning, what we think: it all started long before we thought to notice or name. and endings are happening well before we let them, before we will call it the end or say goodbye or see the next steps to the next paths.
i think i write the details of a story. the underbelly underbrush memory of a story. i want to write a thing that carries us from one to the next, and it's okay if it goes back again. i want the movement. i go in between worlds, my writing is in the liminal spaces, so there is movement there. maybe what i want is an arc. a trajectory.
my characters are nature, are girls searching for family. my characters make small circles and know their worlds to the detail, but they make small circles. i want flight and falling and speeding through the sky bullet in a hurricane. also i want slow crawl, glacial, sleepwalking to the streetlight; this is what i have. i don't think i want a new way, or a different way. i want more of it. i want to write and write and write until the pieces fit together with some sense of familiarity. it doesn't need to be comfortable, just yes.
(things i need to hear myself say: sharon c.l.)
posted by ella at 10:28 PM
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